New Year, New Commitments

You may be surprised to see that this, my first post of the new year is not about resolutions. I’ve determined that resolutions have no resolve. I’ve decided that making a year-long commitment to a project is an act of futility.

That is not to say that I’m not committed to causes and people. I love my wife. I fight for my children. I’d go to bat for the church and social outreach. But when it comes to those activities that are common to the first of the year commitments, I’m just not so good at staying focused.

Write one letter a day? It lasted a few weeks.
Write one blog a day? It lasted 5 months and restarted for another 5 months.
Lose some weight? Yes, but I found it again.
Eat less? Okay…Less vegetables.
Exercise more? I’ve shifted to curling 16 ounce beers.
Walk the dog? It’s easier to reduce her kibble intake.

So this year, I’m making a list of resolutions with some reverse psychology:
1. I’m going to gain weight.
2. I’m going to write once in a while.
3. I commit to cussing on a regular basis.
4. I’ll get drunk 3 times a week.
5. I vow to slap my children whether they need it or not.
6. My dog will stay in her crate 20-24 hours a day.
7. I’m going to let the house fall down around me.
8. I’m giving up on career advancement.
9. I’ll stop watching quality television.
10. I’m never making New Years’ Resolutions again.