Odd Timing

My five-year anniversary of employment arrives May 29, 2007. The time has gone quickly. I’ve enjoyed my job…usually. I’ve worked hard…mostly. I’ve made a difference…certainly. In general, I’ve enjoyed my work. But yesterday something happened that has left me shaking.

In the five years I’ve worked here, no one has ever needed to take pictures of accident scenes or injured patients. We’ve received numerous photographs from clients; everything from broken bones to lost toes, chemical burns and broken truck parts to autopsy pictures. But this week, this week of ALL weeks, we needed pictures of our own.

A client was injured in a wreck. I needed to take some pictures of this client at the hospital. This client was at the same hospital that my nephew had been in for two straight weeks before he died of his injuries related to a car wreck. Worst of all, this client was in the same general shape as my nephew and it was my job to photograph his injuries.

I’m a pretty strong person…generally. I handle my job as a professional…usually. I face life as it comes…graciously.

But not yesterday. Every emotion I had buried came flooding to the top last night. The anger, the grief, the pain erupted during a rerun of M.A.S.H.

It is still simmering just below the surface today. My heart aches. My eyes well up. The pit of my stomach is in knots. I hate my job. I hate what happened to our new client. But most of all, I hate what happened to my nephew.

The adage, “Time heals all wounds” is for people who have already gone through the time and the healing. Right now, there is only grief. Right now, there is only sadness. Right now, there is only pain. And reminders, some subtle and others not so much, of the tragedy this family has suffered.

I pray for God’s grace & time.

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