I wrote this short drama to be used in our main worship. The topic of the day was marriage.
Following the announcements, the groom and his groomsmen in full tuxedos, cumber buns, and patten leather shoes, and the pastor (me) made our way to the stage. The organ began to play the Wedding March. Each bridesmaid came slowly down the isle and took their place opposite the groomsmen on the steps.
I instructed those in attendance to stand. People were craning their necks to see the bride in her wedding dress. She was escorted by her “father” down the center isle. She stopped to give her mother, sitting on the front row, a kiss and hug. She joined us at the top of the stage and turned to face her husband-to-be…
Pastor: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of this company, to unite Gertrude Elizabeth Stein and Gary Phillip Markowitz in holy matrimony. Marriage was ordained by God in the Garden of Eden and confirmed in Cana of Galilee by the presence of the Lord, and is declared by the Apostle Paul to be honorable among all men.
And so I ask you, Gary, do you take Gertrude Elizabeth Stein to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish her as long as you both shall live? If so, say I do.
Gary: (pause and trembling) I do.
Pastor: And Gertrude, do you take Gary Phillip Markowitz to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, (pause) adore, and serve? Do you promise to cook healthy meals, provide a clean home, and turn over full responsibility of all financial matters? Do you promise to give up your name, birth without complaint, allow him to drive at all times, and use only his favorite fabric softener? Do you promise to praise him for his brilliance, love him despite his flaws, and because of his God-given leadership abilities submit to him in all things? If so, say I do.
Gertrude: (Shocked) What!?
Stage goes black – MUCH applause.