During my years in ministry, I was always saddened when a grieving widow was told by family and friends that her grief had gone on long enough. “Move on.” “Get over it.” “Get a dog.” Whether it was a month, a year, or decades, these so-called friends tried to impose their timeline on someone else’s pain. Their callous indifference to a person’s suffering left me baffled by their actions, and weeping for the widow.
Recently, I had my own encounter similar to this. Someone told me how I should feel and why. I was told it was inappropriate for me to be angry. I was informed that my frustration was not good for me or those around me.
What I found most interesting is that this person didn’t think to ask what fueled my rage. They didn’t care about the circumstances behind my heartache. They were more concerned with the uncomfortable appearance than the reality of my situation.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t at all surprised by this interaction. There are too many right now who believe people’s pain and suffering are simply the price others must pay in pursuit of a more perfect world. So who really cares if you are distraught by destroying the Constitution, disregarding the rule of law, tearing families apart, treating citizens like garbage (and even calling them so), changing our Democracy into a Theocracy, turning our nation into a scarier version of the Handmaid’s Tale? To those people, others who feel angry or frustrated or scared or sorrowful simply get in the way. Move on. Get over it. Get a dog.
I guess, in their minds, it would be better for you not to feel at all. Or at the very least, keep it to yourself.
