Fantasy Football 101

I’m #1.

That’s right. I am. And I have the trophy to prove it.

Sure, it might look like a Nerf football painted gold with the number one glued on in glitter and hot-glued to a foam ring but this award is much, MUCH more.

I would guess, like the Lombardi Trophy, the Stanley Cup, Borg-Warner Trophy, or even the FIFA World Cup, this one-of-a-kind memento acknowledges the greatness necessary to be Number One in a sport that requires hours of commitment, a high speed internet connection, and the willingness to click a few buttons before the games begin.

I am the keeper of the trophy. It is on my fire place mantle beside my 2nd grade Pinewood Derby 3rd place trophy and the porcelain container that holds my first lost tooth. THAT’S how much this piece of foam means to me.

Of course, the trophy is like many of its great inspirations. It only stays with me if I continue to win. I keep it if I am successful in selecting players that perform above and beyond. I hold the treasure only until I am dethroned.

But I don’t see that happening this year. Allow me to re-cap the season that has put me, again, in first place.

Week One: TBOL (I have no idea what this stands for) 56 points…at the Noblesville Migraines (that’s me) 66 points (win).

Week Two: Migraines 125 points (win) – Chris 113 points.

Week Three: Migraines 118 points (win) – Heelers 92 points.

Week Four: Migraines 152 points (win) – Rebound 122 points.

Week Five: Migraines 116 points (win) – Thunder 96 points.

Week Six: Migraines 114 points (win) – Thunder 102 points.

Week Seven: Migraines 103 points (win) – IWantPie 67 points.

Week Eight: (projected by CBS Migraines 140 – BL 113.

Thirteen weeks in the season and I’m barreling right along. No end in sight. The trophy remains mine! (Insert meniacal laugh here).


  1. For the record, you play Statesboro Blues (a famous blues song written yb Blind Willie McTell; however the Allman Brothers are considered to have the definitive cover of the song) this week.TBOL, stands for “The Belly of Love.” I could tell you more, but I don’t want to offend or embarrass your readership. I am still trying to figure out how your rushing game is ranked 7th in the league when you have the number one guy in Portis. And your WRs make me green with envy.Glad to hear the trophy and tooth are proudly on display on the mantle.

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